The Top 1 Billion Wrestlers Ever (in no particular order)

Well, I'm back. I don't have enough money to do any kind of reviews for new games, even if they were games for cheap bastards. However, the new concept of The Top One Billion Wrestlers Ever has reigned me back in to KBN, so here we go, Number THREE on the top one billion wrestlers ever (in no particular order).




Okay, so we have some horrible indies here in Southern Indiana. I mean, REALLY horrible. You guys who live out in all these indy hotspots have no idea how freaking lucky you all are. Philly gets tremendous diversity in all wrestling styles plus Mike fucking Quackenbush, Cali gets all that great lucha, Southern Indiana gets...this guy. And yes, those are tattoo sleeves, before you ask. Man up and live your fucking gimmick.

But here, there is one man who attempts to overcome, who attempts to save every single damn show in this region from the idiots attempting deathmatch garbage by just hitting each other with glass tubes until their brains fall out. Does he succeed in saving these shows? Hell no. But his effort alone earns him a spot on this list. For his committment to trying to save shitty deathmatch shows in Southern Indiana by being as entertaining as he possibly can, despite his rapidly decreasing physical abilities, I'd like to induct Tracy Smothers onto this list.

Most of you guys probably remember Tracy as either one half of The Wild Eyed Southern Boys with Steve Armstrong or as the dancing fool of the Full Blooded Italians in ECW. But nowadays, you'll find him every Saturday night in every single National Guard Armory, high school gym, and (I wish I was making this up) indoor soccer field across the lower half of the Crossroads of America, working his ass off to try to give the 10 or so people who showed up the best match they can get with a 19 year old kid who can just do a couple flips. Even if the match isn't really that good, you've got to admire the dedication of a man like that. There's one guy in every part of the country who does it: their bodies are deteriorating, they can't really go anymore, but they stick around anyways to do the best they can with what they've got. It's really that love of the business that drives the wrestling world on.

In commemoration, here's Tracy Smothers wrestling a bear and threatening to undress an Adrian Adonis ripoff managed by Harvey Whippleman.