Rice.

Rice is fucking awesome. You can pretty much add anything you want to rice, and it'll still be edible.

The best kind of rice is the sticky shit you get from Chinese restraunts. Not the flavored stuff, mind you, the plain white rice.

But, homemade rice can be awesome. In fact, if you got thirty minuites and you want a damn good lunch, I got just the thing for you: make a rice bowl meal. You know, like you can get in Japan.

Now, I never actually had a Japanese rice bowl. So my rice bowls probably taste NOTHING like the real thing. But, what I do make is pretty damn good.

So here's what you do. You take a half cup of white rice... WHITE rice, mind you. Yellow rice is fucking shit. Now, you take a saucepan, the smaller the better, and bring a cup of water to a boil. Don't add the rice until the water is boiling. In fact, after the water boils, take a spoonful of butter (or margarine or whatever) and put it into the water first, stir it up and put the stove to simmer before adding rice. Stir for a bit more. Now, get whatever spices and shit you have, pick out your favorites and add them in. Me, I use garlic and red pepper. Also add a tablespoon of sugar too. Trust me on this. Rice + Sugar = Awesome. Now, stir that shit up, and put whatever timer you got in your kitchen to, say, 17 minuites.

While you're waiting for your rice to cook, get two eggs and a frying pan ready. Also, get some pre-cooked meat, either leftovers or cold cuts; chicken, steak, ribs, whatever.... get that shit, cut it up into small chunks, put it on a plate and pour a shitload of teriyaki sauce on them. I use Kikkoman garlic-flavored teriyaki myself. Anyway, put that shit in your microwave, put the mic set for one minuite, but DON'T start it until the timer's done.

When the timer IS done, spray some cooking spray on your pan and put it on another part of your stove, on high. Turn off the burner the rice is on, but don't take it off the heat. Now, crack open the eggs and fry em up, try not to break the yolks. Wait until it's JUST so the whites are cooked but it's still runny, take the eggs and the rice off the heat. NOW you start your microwave.

Put the eggs into the rice, break the yolks and stir until the meat's done. Once the meat's done, take it out, and put it, as well as the runoff teriyaki sauce, into the rice and stir that shit up to.

Oh, and rice is always best when eaten with chopsticks. Anyone who tells you chopsticks are hard to use either have really shitty hand-eye coordination or are just plain fucking stupid. You can buy chopsticks online, for as low as five bucks a pair plus S+H. Plus, they're also good for gouging the eyes of that annoying waiter who keeps asking you every five fucking minuites if everything's okay, and takes away your drink to top it off when you still have half of it left.

...or so I've been told...