Since I'm the head ninja, which either means I'm the boss or I give everyone head or both, I can't stand by and have an Elm Street debate on my site without commenting, but the comment section is for Chinese spammers only, so I figured I'd do a post instead.
Let me set a bit of a scene for you guys.
Imagine being six years old. I know, some of you might be that are reading this. Shit fuck dick diarrhea. Still, imagine DVDs not existing, and magical little plastic devices called VIDEOTAPES just starting to get noticed.
Man, I feel so fucking old right now you guys.
Anyway, some of you might be too young, legit, all joking aside, to remember the big VHS boom. VCRs finally became popular- and video rental places were the shit, son. It isn't like Blockbuster now, which is to say video stores back then didn't suck like ten kinds of fat cocks. Video stores would put a HUGE variety of shit out because video was so hot that no matter what you had, someone would probably rent it. The place I went, Video Valley in Chatsworth, CA, had SO MUCH SHIT DUDE. They had these big fucking scary video boxes with the horror movies on them and they even had shit in BETA.
So anyway, Nightmare on Elm Street was there and we rented it and I loved it and I was six and my parents were cool and fuck commas and where was I going with this?
Uhhhhh...yeah so I was six, and a Freddy fan. By the time I was seven, it was time for Halloween, and I was FREDDY and I didn't have the shitty licensed Freddy mask that they were selling at the stores, I had this fucking crazy ass one that I bought at a magic shop that I think they made themselves, because I haven't seen ONE since. I'll post a pic sometime.
I had my hat, my glove, my sweater, and my fucking badass mask, and noticed something.
EVERY FUCKING KID WAS DRESSED AS FREDDY.
But talking to them about it, man, these fucks were normal kids whose parents didn't let them watch R rated movies and just heard about them from older kids and shit.
FUCKING POSERS
Anyway, saw the new flick. It wasn't bad, but Freddy as melty Voldemort wasn't a great look, but he had a creepy smile that was pretty awesome. I thought it was passable. I mean, it wasn't as good as the first one, or Dream Warriors which was one of my favorite movies growing up, but it was the fuck of a lot better than the shittier sequels like Dream Child or Freddy's Dead.
Fuck Dream Child.
So yeah, I'm a lifelong Elmstreet fan and didn't fucking hate the remake, but the remakes for Halloween and Friday the 13th can SUCK MY BALLS.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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1 comments:
You need to see "Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy". You probably already know about it, but for the benefit of those who do not: it's a 4 1/2 hour documentary about the Nightmare series. It goes through #1 to Freddy vs Jason with cast interviews, director interviews, triva, tidbits about the special effects.
It's really really good. If they left anything out it only to save running time. I'm pretty sure anything that is left out is covered on feature packed second disc.
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