This year is going to be pretty nuts for video games, you guys.
Fucking check this shit out-
We get RED DEAD REDEMPTION. It looks amazing- pretty much what I just hope it has the fucking badass Spaghetti Western soundtrack the first game had, because it really enhanced the experience.
We get UFC 2010. Though KBN homey Biff told me that the PS3 version gets Dan Severn, Royce Gracie, and Jens Pulver and the 360 doesn't and that makes me sad. Dan Severn's majestic mustache must be experienced by all. Fuck bipartisan gaming. Notice I didn't say tripartisan, sorry Nintendo.
We also get FALLOUT NEW VEGAS. I loved Fallout 3, and man, moving it to a place I've actually been can only make me love it more. Plus, robots with TVs in their stomach are pretty sweet but I don't even have a HDTV yet, let alone a robot TV.
Dead Rising 2 is coming out too. More Vegas shit but they say it's not Vegas but it's totally Vegas you guys. The trailers make it appear that you can Macguyver weapons together but it's probably just scripted events and cinemas. Mulitplayer looks like American Gladiators with zombies, which just feels so, so right.
There's that game with the cars that you blow up shit. Uh...Split Second? That's a fucking shitty game for a racing game. They should just call it THAT GAME WITH CARS WHERE YOU BLOW UP SHIT. I'm not a huge fan of racing games, but I love mayhem, and this seems to have lots of it. I love the Burnout series, but unless I'm recreating the opening scene of Final Destination 2, I'm not really interested.
I'm sure there's some huge title I'm forgetting that I don't give a shit about that everyone will talk shit about me not mentioning here, so fuck you. THESE ARE THE GAMES I CARE ABOUT.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
TheDenizen talks violence of the Pink persuasion...
Hello again, ninja minions.
TheDenizen is back and about to tackle a subject that's near and dear to my heart: half-naked Japanese girls kicking ass.
The Japanese film industry was pretty austere and serious during the 50's and 60's with only a few exceptions (Seijun Suzuki's 1967 mindfuck Tokyo Drifter springs to mind)...the most popular films of the era were stately dramas and rousing action adventure films. But by the time the 70's rolled around, pretty much everyone in the country had a TV set at home and movie theater revenues were plummeting. In order to coax patrons back into the movie houses, filmmakers often took the tasty bits that couldn't be shown on TV and cranked them up to 11. Mainly, the sex and violence quota skyrocketed.
Masterfully written and acted samurai films gave way to gory and over the top swordplay flicks. As the market for exploitation fare soared, one subgenre of chambara and yakuza films carved out a niche for itself by telling the lurid stories of female gangsters: Pinky Violence. Packed with wall to wall swordfights, brawls, nudity and sex, these flicks certainly weren't innocent, but they usually lacked the meanness of a lot of contemporary American exploitation fare. They were just more fun.
Here's a quick look at a few of the series from the 1970's I enjoy the most.
Rica - Rica is a half Japanese, half American teenager who runs an all girl gang in modern day Yokohama. After a huge battle with a rival gang, Rica is carted off to juvenile hall and her gang is captured and sold to slavers who intend to ship them to Vietnam as rape fodder for American GIs. Rica busts out of detention and goes on the warpath, facing off against one tough male gang boss after another, trying to get back her girls. There is more plot in the first 20 minutes of this movie than most complete films, and it just moves at a breakneck pace the whole way. There's an extended scene where Rica sings in a strip club, and her dance moves are some of the worst stuff you've ever seen, but her outfits are amazing. In practically every scene, Rica is wearing a new cape or midriff-baring pantsuit with incredibly detailed and colorful patterns. Very kitschy. Tons of knife scraps, kung fu catfighting and bouncing boobs.
Rica was followed by two sequels. Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer is about Rica trying to unravel the story of one of the reform school girls from the first film, who has somehow ended up in a mental institution in Misawa. The plot was much more coherent and conventionally paced, but there was almost no nudity and too much use of guns. Rica 3: Junvenile Lullaby features Rica using a fucking spear gun to bust up a pornography ring that was exploiting girls from the Juvenile Prison. Much better.
Sex & Fury - Reiko Ike plays a fearless swordswoman, pickpocket and gambler named Ocho who is on the trail of her father's killers. She plays some poker and gets whipped naked by Swedish nymphette Christiana Lindberg along the way, and ends up slashing her way to the top of the yakuza syndicate responsible for her father's death. The first major set piece of the movie is a swordfight in a bath house, in which Reiko takes on a dozen or so men completely nude. She also fights the final battle topless, but by the end she is so soaked in gore that you can't even tell. Nice.
Sex & Fury had only one sequel, the ludicrously titled Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture, in which Ocho solves the equally ludicrously named "Crotch Gouge Murders" while doing battle with a bunch of opium smugglers. The story is kinda confusing and some of the sex scenes are just creepy, but there's lots of cool visuals and and swordplay.
Lady Snowblood - Meiko Kaji plays Yuki, a woman who was born in a prison to a widow who died in childbirth. She was then raised and trained as an instrument of vengeance, possessing deadly skills and a concealed sword. This is probably best known as the flick that Quentin Tarantino used as the basis for Kill Bill, even reusing Lady Snowblood's theme song. Meiko Kaji is beautiful, and has a fierce glare that could bore a hole through titanium. She uses that glare to stunning effect as she smoothly dispatches her enemies. Plenty of splashy blood, but this flick also asks some serious questions as Yuki continually ponders the point of avenging the family she never met.
Lady Snowblood was followed by Love Song of Vengeance a year later, a less interesting film in which Yuki gets mixed up a political scheme. It still has no shortage of swordplay, and fans of Meiko Kaji will want to check it out. Meiko Kaji was also famous for playing Sasori (aka Scorpion) in the Female Prisoner 701 series, a woman who breaks out of prison to exact revenge on the men who wrongfully put here there. Maybe for my next blog I'll review those, or some other Women In Prison flicks.
Other notable Pinky Violence films from the era include Stray Cat Rock, Girl Boss Guerilla, Girl Boss Revenge, and Terrifying Girls' High School.
The Pinky Violence genre still exists today in a slightly altered form, way down on the low budget end of the filmmaking spectrum in Japan. Recent efforts use less sex but WAY more bloody gore, often for comedic effect. Movies like Machine Girl, Zombie Hunter Rika, Oneechanbara, Samurai Princess and Tokyo Gore Police all show off sexy female leads unleashing copious amounts of ultraviolence.
I love that shit, it never goes out of style...
TheDenizen is back and about to tackle a subject that's near and dear to my heart: half-naked Japanese girls kicking ass.
The Japanese film industry was pretty austere and serious during the 50's and 60's with only a few exceptions (Seijun Suzuki's 1967 mindfuck Tokyo Drifter springs to mind)...the most popular films of the era were stately dramas and rousing action adventure films. But by the time the 70's rolled around, pretty much everyone in the country had a TV set at home and movie theater revenues were plummeting. In order to coax patrons back into the movie houses, filmmakers often took the tasty bits that couldn't be shown on TV and cranked them up to 11. Mainly, the sex and violence quota skyrocketed.
Masterfully written and acted samurai films gave way to gory and over the top swordplay flicks. As the market for exploitation fare soared, one subgenre of chambara and yakuza films carved out a niche for itself by telling the lurid stories of female gangsters: Pinky Violence. Packed with wall to wall swordfights, brawls, nudity and sex, these flicks certainly weren't innocent, but they usually lacked the meanness of a lot of contemporary American exploitation fare. They were just more fun.
Here's a quick look at a few of the series from the 1970's I enjoy the most.
Rica - Rica is a half Japanese, half American teenager who runs an all girl gang in modern day Yokohama. After a huge battle with a rival gang, Rica is carted off to juvenile hall and her gang is captured and sold to slavers who intend to ship them to Vietnam as rape fodder for American GIs. Rica busts out of detention and goes on the warpath, facing off against one tough male gang boss after another, trying to get back her girls. There is more plot in the first 20 minutes of this movie than most complete films, and it just moves at a breakneck pace the whole way. There's an extended scene where Rica sings in a strip club, and her dance moves are some of the worst stuff you've ever seen, but her outfits are amazing. In practically every scene, Rica is wearing a new cape or midriff-baring pantsuit with incredibly detailed and colorful patterns. Very kitschy. Tons of knife scraps, kung fu catfighting and bouncing boobs.
Rica was followed by two sequels. Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer is about Rica trying to unravel the story of one of the reform school girls from the first film, who has somehow ended up in a mental institution in Misawa. The plot was much more coherent and conventionally paced, but there was almost no nudity and too much use of guns. Rica 3: Junvenile Lullaby features Rica using a fucking spear gun to bust up a pornography ring that was exploiting girls from the Juvenile Prison. Much better.
Sex & Fury - Reiko Ike plays a fearless swordswoman, pickpocket and gambler named Ocho who is on the trail of her father's killers. She plays some poker and gets whipped naked by Swedish nymphette Christiana Lindberg along the way, and ends up slashing her way to the top of the yakuza syndicate responsible for her father's death. The first major set piece of the movie is a swordfight in a bath house, in which Reiko takes on a dozen or so men completely nude. She also fights the final battle topless, but by the end she is so soaked in gore that you can't even tell. Nice.
Sex & Fury had only one sequel, the ludicrously titled Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture, in which Ocho solves the equally ludicrously named "Crotch Gouge Murders" while doing battle with a bunch of opium smugglers. The story is kinda confusing and some of the sex scenes are just creepy, but there's lots of cool visuals and and swordplay.
Lady Snowblood - Meiko Kaji plays Yuki, a woman who was born in a prison to a widow who died in childbirth. She was then raised and trained as an instrument of vengeance, possessing deadly skills and a concealed sword. This is probably best known as the flick that Quentin Tarantino used as the basis for Kill Bill, even reusing Lady Snowblood's theme song. Meiko Kaji is beautiful, and has a fierce glare that could bore a hole through titanium. She uses that glare to stunning effect as she smoothly dispatches her enemies. Plenty of splashy blood, but this flick also asks some serious questions as Yuki continually ponders the point of avenging the family she never met.
Lady Snowblood was followed by Love Song of Vengeance a year later, a less interesting film in which Yuki gets mixed up a political scheme. It still has no shortage of swordplay, and fans of Meiko Kaji will want to check it out. Meiko Kaji was also famous for playing Sasori (aka Scorpion) in the Female Prisoner 701 series, a woman who breaks out of prison to exact revenge on the men who wrongfully put here there. Maybe for my next blog I'll review those, or some other Women In Prison flicks.
Other notable Pinky Violence films from the era include Stray Cat Rock, Girl Boss Guerilla, Girl Boss Revenge, and Terrifying Girls' High School.
The Pinky Violence genre still exists today in a slightly altered form, way down on the low budget end of the filmmaking spectrum in Japan. Recent efforts use less sex but WAY more bloody gore, often for comedic effect. Movies like Machine Girl, Zombie Hunter Rika, Oneechanbara, Samurai Princess and Tokyo Gore Police all show off sexy female leads unleashing copious amounts of ultraviolence.
I love that shit, it never goes out of style...
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Do you play Adam Ryland's TEW?
If you do, then you know that the default belt graphics are basically dog turds. You got Adobe/Macromedia Fireworks and you wanna make your OWN belts for it? Here's a helpful tutorial video, made by yours truly.
Have fun listening to my douchey voice. :)
Have fun listening to my douchey voice. :)
Friday, March 5, 2010
Oscar Picks
Best Actor - Jeff Bridges
Jeremy Renner is the only other contestant I feel, but since he's young and Jeff Bridges deserves an Oscar I'm leaning towards him.
Best Actress - Sandra Bullock
Too much hype has been made about her "comeback" for her to lose this race. I'll be shocked if she doesn't get the statue.
Best Supporting Actress - Monique
I liked Precious and thought she was fantastic. There really isn't any competition here in my opinion.
Best Picture - The Hurt Locker
I haven't seen it, but it's been getting all the talk latey. Avatar was good, but I just don't see the academy going for a big budget special effects movie with a weak cliche story. Precious was hyped to hell for months, but I haven't seen any buzz about it recently. So this is my pick.
Best Director - James Cameron
It's either him or Katheryn Bigelow. I'm banking on Bigelow being a woman not being a factor in this....but that is really short-sighted of me. We'll see.
Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz
Yeah, nobody would be risky enough to pick against him. There's just no way he's not going to win this.
Best Animated Film - Up
Lock. It's Pixar and it was fantastic. I'd honestly love to see this win best picture.
Cinematography, Art Direction, and Visual Effects - Avatar
Yep
Film Editing- The Hurt Locker
I hear it's a movie that relys on precision for a lot of the scenes, and is very tension filled so I'm going with this.
The rest are pretty much a crap-shoot for me.
Jeremy Renner is the only other contestant I feel, but since he's young and Jeff Bridges deserves an Oscar I'm leaning towards him.
Best Actress - Sandra Bullock
Too much hype has been made about her "comeback" for her to lose this race. I'll be shocked if she doesn't get the statue.
Best Supporting Actress - Monique
I liked Precious and thought she was fantastic. There really isn't any competition here in my opinion.
Best Picture - The Hurt Locker
I haven't seen it, but it's been getting all the talk latey. Avatar was good, but I just don't see the academy going for a big budget special effects movie with a weak cliche story. Precious was hyped to hell for months, but I haven't seen any buzz about it recently. So this is my pick.
Best Director - James Cameron
It's either him or Katheryn Bigelow. I'm banking on Bigelow being a woman not being a factor in this....but that is really short-sighted of me. We'll see.
Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz
Yeah, nobody would be risky enough to pick against him. There's just no way he's not going to win this.
Best Animated Film - Up
Lock. It's Pixar and it was fantastic. I'd honestly love to see this win best picture.
Cinematography, Art Direction, and Visual Effects - Avatar
Yep
Film Editing- The Hurt Locker
I hear it's a movie that relys on precision for a lot of the scenes, and is very tension filled so I'm going with this.
The rest are pretty much a crap-shoot for me.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Hey Man, Cool Shirt - Volume One
Man, the internet is full of cool shirts.
Since KBN is pretty fucking cool itself, I'm going to show you cool shirts. We're not getting kickbacks or free shirts or advertising for doing this but maannnnn I would so welcome that if someone wanted to. Call me a sellout all you want, I want free stuff or money as much as the next guy.
Here's the first in a series-
HEY MAN COOL SHIRT
The Jack Burton
The tank top from Big Trouble in Little China, motherfucker.
This was for sale once before- but it was some company only doing expensive limited editions of the shirt. It's 20 bucks here.
While I personally avoid tank tops because I keep these pythons under wraps, brother, I figure some of you mofos would like to check this shit out.
Available at 80s Tees
Since KBN is pretty fucking cool itself, I'm going to show you cool shirts. We're not getting kickbacks or free shirts or advertising for doing this but maannnnn I would so welcome that if someone wanted to. Call me a sellout all you want, I want free stuff or money as much as the next guy.
Here's the first in a series-
HEY MAN COOL SHIRT
The Jack Burton
The tank top from Big Trouble in Little China, motherfucker.
This was for sale once before- but it was some company only doing expensive limited editions of the shirt. It's 20 bucks here.
While I personally avoid tank tops because I keep these pythons under wraps, brother, I figure some of you mofos would like to check this shit out.
Available at 80s Tees
Friday, February 19, 2010
XBOX Live Indie Games Spotlight #1
by SonnyBone
--------------------------------------------
So I'm making an XBOX Live Indie Game called Souplobstar. Before I get too deep into development, I want to scour the service to find the VERY BEST games available. I want to know what's possible, and I want to know what I'm up against. I've already tried out 50 or so Indie Games, and I'll be doing a periodic 'spotlight' on the games that I feel are worth the free trial, and I'll let you know which ones are worth purchasing.
SO HERE WE GO!
--------------------------------------------
ZP2K9
by Ska Studios
This is one of those games where screen shots and videos DO NOT convey the incredible amount of FUN to be had. It's a 2D side-scrolling multiplayer shooter with tons of guns, grenades, and powerups. And when I say multiplayer, I don't mean split screen. ZP2K9 has online multiplayer support for up to 10 people. You can also play against AI bots if you're all alone.
Here's what sets ZP2K9 apart from similar games.
1) You can walk on walls and ceilings. Yes. At all times. It doesn't make any sense, but it's totally rad and makes for some incredibly fun moments.
2) You can do this weird Matrix-style slo-mo mid-air floaty thingy. Again, it makes no sense, but it's fun to jump off a cliff, only to do a Matrix float and fire a few shots back at your enemy before free falling to the ground below.
3) POWERUP SUITS. Ok, this is my favorite feature. You can grab suits from the occasional crate that will change the powers and appearance of your player. There is a bat suit that lets you become invisible when hanging from the ceiling, a bee suit that lets you fly, a cyborg suit that gives you faster firing and reload times, a tesla suit that lets you fire electricity along with your bullets, a cat suit that lets you dash super fast and leap farther, a hedgehog suit that doubles your attack power, and MANY MORE.
4) Swords. There are two swords in the game: a katana, and a huge sword that looks like something out of Final Fantasy. These are fun because they knock your opponent back and you can slice in any direction, even while jumping. Combining the sword with the bee suit or bat suit creates some amazing moments.
5) THE BITCH KICK. By performing the bitch kick, you can boot an enemy into a chasm or to the bottom of the ocean for a satisfying "HA HA" kill. I love it.
There are several game type options: Deathmatch, team deathmatch, king of the hill, and capture the flag. We've all seen these before, but that doesn't mean they aren't totally awesome. The stages can become a bit repetitive, as they all look very similar, but once you learn them, you'll begin to appreciate their unique subtleties. There are plenty of rad weapons available, and you can even dual wield certain guns. There are several grenade types as well, so you can certainly develop a unique strategy. You can carry 4 different guns and 2 different grenades at any given time. Certain guns have unlimited ammo, and others do not. You can also swap weapons out if you've already filled all 4 gun slots. There is also an option to edit your character. There are 2 races (human and zombie) with several variations of each.
There is a LOT crammed into this little game for the price.
So what's the price?
80 points.
That's a DOLLAR, folks. This is easily the best dollar I've ever spent on a video game, and I encourage EVERY XBOX 360 owner to buy this. It was developed by Ska Studios, the guys behind Dishwasher and I MADE A GAME WITH ZOMBIES IN IT, so you know it's gonna be good. But the beauty of this service is that you don't have to make a blind purchase. You can try a free demo, and there is no reason not to.
This is by far my favorite XBOX Live Indie Game at the moment, but I have MANY MORE to play through. I'll see you suckaz next time with the XBOX Live Indie Games Spotlight #2, where I'll focus on a game that's all about being as RAD as possible.
BEWARE OF!
--------------------------------------------
So I'm making an XBOX Live Indie Game called Souplobstar. Before I get too deep into development, I want to scour the service to find the VERY BEST games available. I want to know what's possible, and I want to know what I'm up against. I've already tried out 50 or so Indie Games, and I'll be doing a periodic 'spotlight' on the games that I feel are worth the free trial, and I'll let you know which ones are worth purchasing.
SO HERE WE GO!
--------------------------------------------
ZP2K9
by Ska Studios
This is one of those games where screen shots and videos DO NOT convey the incredible amount of FUN to be had. It's a 2D side-scrolling multiplayer shooter with tons of guns, grenades, and powerups. And when I say multiplayer, I don't mean split screen. ZP2K9 has online multiplayer support for up to 10 people. You can also play against AI bots if you're all alone.
Here's what sets ZP2K9 apart from similar games.
1) You can walk on walls and ceilings. Yes. At all times. It doesn't make any sense, but it's totally rad and makes for some incredibly fun moments.
2) You can do this weird Matrix-style slo-mo mid-air floaty thingy. Again, it makes no sense, but it's fun to jump off a cliff, only to do a Matrix float and fire a few shots back at your enemy before free falling to the ground below.
3) POWERUP SUITS. Ok, this is my favorite feature. You can grab suits from the occasional crate that will change the powers and appearance of your player. There is a bat suit that lets you become invisible when hanging from the ceiling, a bee suit that lets you fly, a cyborg suit that gives you faster firing and reload times, a tesla suit that lets you fire electricity along with your bullets, a cat suit that lets you dash super fast and leap farther, a hedgehog suit that doubles your attack power, and MANY MORE.
4) Swords. There are two swords in the game: a katana, and a huge sword that looks like something out of Final Fantasy. These are fun because they knock your opponent back and you can slice in any direction, even while jumping. Combining the sword with the bee suit or bat suit creates some amazing moments.
5) THE BITCH KICK. By performing the bitch kick, you can boot an enemy into a chasm or to the bottom of the ocean for a satisfying "HA HA" kill. I love it.
There are several game type options: Deathmatch, team deathmatch, king of the hill, and capture the flag. We've all seen these before, but that doesn't mean they aren't totally awesome. The stages can become a bit repetitive, as they all look very similar, but once you learn them, you'll begin to appreciate their unique subtleties. There are plenty of rad weapons available, and you can even dual wield certain guns. There are several grenade types as well, so you can certainly develop a unique strategy. You can carry 4 different guns and 2 different grenades at any given time. Certain guns have unlimited ammo, and others do not. You can also swap weapons out if you've already filled all 4 gun slots. There is also an option to edit your character. There are 2 races (human and zombie) with several variations of each.
There is a LOT crammed into this little game for the price.
So what's the price?
80 points.
That's a DOLLAR, folks. This is easily the best dollar I've ever spent on a video game, and I encourage EVERY XBOX 360 owner to buy this. It was developed by Ska Studios, the guys behind Dishwasher and I MADE A GAME WITH ZOMBIES IN IT, so you know it's gonna be good. But the beauty of this service is that you don't have to make a blind purchase. You can try a free demo, and there is no reason not to.
This is by far my favorite XBOX Live Indie Game at the moment, but I have MANY MORE to play through. I'll see you suckaz next time with the XBOX Live Indie Games Spotlight #2, where I'll focus on a game that's all about being as RAD as possible.
BEWARE OF!
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