Since KBN is pretty fucking cool itself, I'm going to show you cool shirts. We're not getting kickbacks or free shirts or advertising for doing this but maannnnn I would so welcome that if someone wanted to. Call me a sellout all you want, I want free stuff or money as much as the next guy.
Here's the first in a series-
HEY MAN COOL SHIRT
The Jack Burton
The tank top from Big Trouble in Little China, motherfucker.
This was for sale once before- but it was some company only doing expensive limited editions of the shirt. It's 20 bucks here.
While I personally avoid tank tops because I keep these pythons under wraps, brother, I figure some of you mofos would like to check this shit out.
by SonnyBone --------------------------------------------
So I'm making an XBOX Live Indie Game called Souplobstar. Before I get too deep into development, I want to scour the service to find the VERY BEST games available. I want to know what's possible, and I want to know what I'm up against. I've already tried out 50 or so Indie Games, and I'll be doing a periodic 'spotlight' on the games that I feel are worth the free trial, and I'll let you know which ones are worth purchasing.
SO HERE WE GO!
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ZP2K9 by Ska Studios
This is one of those games where screen shots and videos DO NOT convey the incredible amount of FUN to be had. It's a 2D side-scrolling multiplayer shooter with tons of guns, grenades, and powerups. And when I say multiplayer, I don't mean split screen. ZP2K9 has online multiplayer support for up to 10 people. You can also play against AI bots if you're all alone.
Here's what sets ZP2K9 apart from similar games.
1) You can walk on walls and ceilings. Yes. At all times. It doesn't make any sense, but it's totally rad and makes for some incredibly fun moments.
2) You can do this weird Matrix-style slo-mo mid-air floaty thingy. Again, it makes no sense, but it's fun to jump off a cliff, only to do a Matrix float and fire a few shots back at your enemy before free falling to the ground below.
3) POWERUP SUITS. Ok, this is my favorite feature. You can grab suits from the occasional crate that will change the powers and appearance of your player. There is a bat suit that lets you become invisible when hanging from the ceiling, a bee suit that lets you fly, a cyborg suit that gives you faster firing and reload times, a tesla suit that lets you fire electricity along with your bullets, a cat suit that lets you dash super fast and leap farther, a hedgehog suit that doubles your attack power, and MANY MORE.
4) Swords. There are two swords in the game: a katana, and a huge sword that looks like something out of Final Fantasy. These are fun because they knock your opponent back and you can slice in any direction, even while jumping. Combining the sword with the bee suit or bat suit creates some amazing moments.
5) THE BITCH KICK. By performing the bitch kick, you can boot an enemy into a chasm or to the bottom of the ocean for a satisfying "HA HA" kill. I love it.
There are several game type options: Deathmatch, team deathmatch, king of the hill, and capture the flag. We've all seen these before, but that doesn't mean they aren't totally awesome. The stages can become a bit repetitive, as they all look very similar, but once you learn them, you'll begin to appreciate their unique subtleties. There are plenty of rad weapons available, and you can even dual wield certain guns. There are several grenade types as well, so you can certainly develop a unique strategy. You can carry 4 different guns and 2 different grenades at any given time. Certain guns have unlimited ammo, and others do not. You can also swap weapons out if you've already filled all 4 gun slots. There is also an option to edit your character. There are 2 races (human and zombie) with several variations of each.
There is a LOT crammed into this little game for the price.
So what's the price?
80 points.
That's a DOLLAR, folks. This is easily the best dollar I've ever spent on a video game, and I encourage EVERY XBOX 360 owner to buy this. It was developed by Ska Studios, the guys behind Dishwasher and I MADE A GAME WITH ZOMBIES IN IT, so you know it's gonna be good. But the beauty of this service is that you don't have to make a blind purchase. You can try a free demo, and there is no reason not to.
This is by far my favorite XBOX Live Indie Game at the moment, but I have MANY MORE to play through. I'll see you suckaz next time with the XBOX Live Indie Games Spotlight #2, where I'll focus on a game that's all about being as RAD as possible.
by SonnyBone --------------------------------------------
SO I SAW THIS MOVIE RIGHT. SOME BITCH WAS ALL WORKING THESE SHITTY JOBS AND SHIT AND FUCKING THIS DUDE ON THE SIDE RIGHT. HER SISTER WAS ALL STUPID AND DUMB AND SHIT AND THEN THEY TRIED TO GET RICH TOGETHER CLEANING UP DEAD BODIES AND SHIT SO THEY BUY SOME CLOROX RIGHT. YEAH THEN THIS FUCKING ONE ARMED DUDE MAKES HELICOPTERS AND SOME OLD MAN SELLS SHRIMP TO MEXICANS AND SOMEBODY'S HOUSE BURNS DOWN THEN IT GOES OFF.
I needed to post something else. So I decided to review a video game that in all likelyhood none of you have ever heard of: Kuon.
What the fuck is Kuon you ask? It's a PS2 Survival Horror game based on Heian-era Japan. It's also been localized by our good friends Agetec, so the odd obvious translation error is present.
The story is simple, yet confusing. You control one of two characters: A preist's daughter who is a total shut-in, who finds herself seperated from her sister, or a female excorsist who is investigating the dissapearance of the former's fuedal lord. All Jigoku breaks loose, and gaki and ghosts overrun a castle. You complete the story with one character, then you play as the other in a slight variation of the other story, then you play as a third character, another excorsist who is the rival of the person who turns out to be the main villain of the game.
Also, the story centers around some weird spell that can bring someone back to life by turning them into a famished undead who has to feed on creatures to come back to life, but instead of coming back to life as a human they are reborn as a mulberry. The preist's daughter accidentally killed her sister, but doesn't know the sister is actually dead, and the priest used the spell to try to bring the daughter to life.
And how does this turns the fuedal castle into an ancient Racoon City you ask? I'm not sure. Apparently the trees are evil and the silkworms that grow on the trees are sacred or something.
Overall, it's an okay game. You can set the difficulty between three modes, it's not too hard to beat the medium setting though you might die a couple times because the characters are a quite a bit fragile. Luckily you can heal them, in-combat by using items and out-of-combat with meditation. Outside of combat you travel the map in typical 'you need the red key to pass this door, the blue key to pass this other door' fashion, and there are a couple puzzles which you can solve in simple trial and error fashion. You can only save by using a limited item in certain locations on the map, but in all likelyhood you will rarely find yourself unable to save regularly.
Replay value is very very limited though. The entire game can be beaten in about eight to ten hours, and while there is a challenge mode where if you are hit nine times you die there's not really much else to make you want to play the whole thing again. There IS a minigame you can unlock, which is essentially a heian-era version of backgammon... in that it's EXACTLY like backgammon without the part where you take your stones off the board at the end.
So, if you have seven bucks, like a decent but not memorable story, and REALLY REALLY like Backgammon, get Kuon. Otherwise, get yourself some Chik-Fil-A.
First off, I'm a huge fan of the original Halloween and the sequel. After that the series fell off, but the later editions of the series were still kinda stupid fun. When I found out Rob Zombie would be re-making the original, I was skeptical to say the least. Figured it would either be really good, or fucking awful, with no middle ground.
Saw Rob Zombie's Halloween opening night, and was ready to walk out five minutes into the flick. The whole changing of Michael's family from ordinary middle class folks to white trash scum was goofy enough, but I can't stand the dialogue Zombie writes. I have no problem with swearing in a movie, but there needs to be an element of realism in my opinion, and he goes way overboard. Basically, the movie just went downhill from there. I hated it.
Now why the hell would I even bother watching the sequel? Guess because I'm just a fan of the series. I Netflixed it last week, and watched Friday night. There will be spoilers here, so if you haven't seen the movie but intend to, don't read any further. Plus, this review will probably suck, so just stop now.
The main problem I had with a sequel was the fact that Zombie himself said he was doing his version of Halloween the way it should've been done, with Michael dying and that being that. But, wait, here we are with a sequel. Money talks, I guess.
Halloween 2 actually started off with some potential, with Michael rising up from the back of an ambulance and decapitating one of the paremedics, complete with close-up of the knife sawing through the guy's neck. Once Michael starts seeing visions of his dead mom speaking to him and giving him direction to find his sister, the retardation sets in. Then, you get Michael sans mask, with a long coat and hood on. He's also somewhere along the line grown a huge ass beard and instead of being the silent killer from the original series, he grunts and snarls when killing someone, and even speaks at the end of the movie. Fuck you, Mr. Zombie.
Then there's the obnoxious Lorie, who's all traumatized and doped up on anti-depressants, yelling fuck you to everyone she comes across in the movie. After awhile I was ready for Michael to find her and chop her damn head off.
It was just a lot of silliness and lame dialogue, with some decent kills sprinkled here and there, with the stupidity of Michael's mother popping up and talking to him. I pretty much lost all interest halfway, through but kept on and finished.
