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Carry on.
These are not the droids you're looking for.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Salute Your Shorts
Well, JZBadblood made the above. You know why?
Salute Your Shorts is on iTunes. We're holding out HOPE for a DVD release, you see.
But yeah, I think I saw every episode of that 1000 times, because, well, they barely had any episodes. Love that shit though, because you know, I never went to camp as a kid, and them showing camp as something you suffer through instead of having fun made me feel a lot better about that, and man, you'd expect all the kids from that to be on more shit as adults today.
The thing that bothered me about the show is that Budnick was into the metal and shit, but whenever he mentioned cool bands he'd always throw Whitesnake in there. Come on, dude, nobody listens to Whitesnake. I guess I could let this go though.
The best episode was ZEKE THE PLUMBER, a great variation of the Cropsy urban legend that went around camps and also brought us the movie THE BURNING. I also learned giraffes have black tongues from Salute Your Shorts, and man they're totally right. Television is educational.
It didn't make sense that Ug was the councilor for both the girls and the boys so he was probably some kind of creepy pervert, or the female councilor was eaten by a bear or murdered by Zeke the Plumber. Either way, Ug probably has some statch charges.
In This Blog: FishHook Explains Absences and Advertises a Production Group on the Blog of Another Production Group
Hello, Kidnappers and Kidnappees! I do apologize for the long absence from the KBN network, but I just haven't had anything to write about. I really haven't bought a ton of budget games recently (or any games, to be honest), but that has recently changed as my local video rental shop is holding a closing sale and I've gotten a ton of good and not so good stuff from there on a budget. So, until that dries up, I should have a semi-decent amount of material to write Trash and Treasure on. I've got three that I'm looking at right now in particular, the first one should be up in a manner of days, maybe a week.
Anyways, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because we have new sponsors and if I blog enough, HeadNinja will give me Highspots' money...OK, not really, but do visit our new sponsors Highspots.com so that KBN can make money and stay afloat. I'm actually here because I want to advertise my new Youtube page and "production company", Machinery Making Modern Music Productions. I realize it's a long title (which is why I usually shorten it to 4M when I discuss it), but anything that's a reference to Tenacious D when they reference Rush is certainly great success. For those out of the loop, watch the concert on Tenacious D's Complete Masterworks Volume 2, specifically the song The Metal. It's just a little comment Jack Black makes, but I think it's pretty hilarious.
The long and short of it is that as a future telecommunications major in college, I'm very interested in the creation of media: television, radio, short film, etc. 4M will basically be the banner that I will post all of my various class projects and all of the other stuff I do under. The first of these are the videos from the class that inspired me to be a telecommunications major: the Mass Media class at my high school, which is basically a loosely organized class made pretty much just to produce the announcements you hear every morning at school over the PA, except we do them on closed circuit television over the school. Although that's our primary goal, we've also produced a couple of commericals for class projects and for other purposes, such as advertising sign-ups for the Mass Media class next year and various school plays and whatnot. These videos will be going up under the 4M banner on the Youtube page I created.
And now, I present to you...the MV94 News Team videos. There's only 3 thus far, and I'll post 2 of them here. First of all, there's the intro for the news show, which features the entire team and gratuitous use of STAN HANSEN THEME SONG (which I selected as our theme, conveniently forgetting to mention it was a pro wrestler's theme):
Secondly, there's the commerical/skit made to advertise signups for the Mass Media class. This one may not make sense to the masses, as there's a lot of inside jokes:
Well, that's basically it for now. If I have any more stuff, I'll let you guys know and show it off here. We're working on a short film about high school security, that'll probably be next to be posted. I'm very open to praise, criticism, suggestions, and anything else you'd like to add. Also, if you wish to subscribe, please do so at youtube.com/MachMakModMus (and trust me, there will be more than school projects on here eventually, so don't be offput by my first two offerings). By the by, that URL is VERY screwed up, as I needed to shorten Machinery Making Modern Music and I hadn't thought of the very simple "4M" shortening, so I shortened each individual word. "MachMakModMus" sounds like machs (like robots or something) making a modified moose. Which sounds...awesome, and may or may not be the logo.
- FishHook
Anyways, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because we have new sponsors and if I blog enough, HeadNinja will give me Highspots' money...OK, not really, but do visit our new sponsors Highspots.com so that KBN can make money and stay afloat. I'm actually here because I want to advertise my new Youtube page and "production company", Machinery Making Modern Music Productions. I realize it's a long title (which is why I usually shorten it to 4M when I discuss it), but anything that's a reference to Tenacious D when they reference Rush is certainly great success. For those out of the loop, watch the concert on Tenacious D's Complete Masterworks Volume 2, specifically the song The Metal. It's just a little comment Jack Black makes, but I think it's pretty hilarious.
The long and short of it is that as a future telecommunications major in college, I'm very interested in the creation of media: television, radio, short film, etc. 4M will basically be the banner that I will post all of my various class projects and all of the other stuff I do under. The first of these are the videos from the class that inspired me to be a telecommunications major: the Mass Media class at my high school, which is basically a loosely organized class made pretty much just to produce the announcements you hear every morning at school over the PA, except we do them on closed circuit television over the school. Although that's our primary goal, we've also produced a couple of commericals for class projects and for other purposes, such as advertising sign-ups for the Mass Media class next year and various school plays and whatnot. These videos will be going up under the 4M banner on the Youtube page I created.
And now, I present to you...the MV94 News Team videos. There's only 3 thus far, and I'll post 2 of them here. First of all, there's the intro for the news show, which features the entire team and gratuitous use of STAN HANSEN THEME SONG (which I selected as our theme, conveniently forgetting to mention it was a pro wrestler's theme):
Secondly, there's the commerical/skit made to advertise signups for the Mass Media class. This one may not make sense to the masses, as there's a lot of inside jokes:
Well, that's basically it for now. If I have any more stuff, I'll let you guys know and show it off here. We're working on a short film about high school security, that'll probably be next to be posted. I'm very open to praise, criticism, suggestions, and anything else you'd like to add. Also, if you wish to subscribe, please do so at youtube.com/MachMakModMus (and trust me, there will be more than school projects on here eventually, so don't be offput by my first two offerings). By the by, that URL is VERY screwed up, as I needed to shorten Machinery Making Modern Music and I hadn't thought of the very simple "4M" shortening, so I shortened each individual word. "MachMakModMus" sounds like machs (like robots or something) making a modified moose. Which sounds...awesome, and may or may not be the logo.
- FishHook
Hola!
So the past month has been wild for myself, and Mrs. Deli. We both finished up the last of our LEARNIN' and are both on the prowl for jobs. Money is short, time seems to be passing at a pace people from Kenya can't keep up with (cause they run). However a new chapter is opening. So I would like to publicly address some stuff.
1. When I die, cremate me. Then plant my ashes with a tree, and each year come tell me how big I have gotten.
2. To my unborn child(s), I hope you like stupid shit as much as I do. When we meet, I hope you don't call me a nerd and beat me up.
3. School lunches suck, and they always will suck.
I hope all ninjas are enjoying life. I hope to have something real to contribute to this blog soon. Unless you want to learn about my students fluency rates, and how my class scored too high on their final reading assessments then I have nothing to talk about.
WD
1. When I die, cremate me. Then plant my ashes with a tree, and each year come tell me how big I have gotten.
2. To my unborn child(s), I hope you like stupid shit as much as I do. When we meet, I hope you don't call me a nerd and beat me up.
3. School lunches suck, and they always will suck.
I hope all ninjas are enjoying life. I hope to have something real to contribute to this blog soon. Unless you want to learn about my students fluency rates, and how my class scored too high on their final reading assessments then I have nothing to talk about.
WD
Fuck that adsense shit.
No more google adsense. It wasn't doing anything, and man, I'd rather schill for advertisers I actually buy shit from.
For example-
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For example-
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Saturday, April 3, 2010
Too much good shit
This year is going to be pretty nuts for video games, you guys.
Fucking check this shit out-
We get RED DEAD REDEMPTION. It looks amazing- pretty much what I just hope it has the fucking badass Spaghetti Western soundtrack the first game had, because it really enhanced the experience.
We get UFC 2010. Though KBN homey Biff told me that the PS3 version gets Dan Severn, Royce Gracie, and Jens Pulver and the 360 doesn't and that makes me sad. Dan Severn's majestic mustache must be experienced by all. Fuck bipartisan gaming. Notice I didn't say tripartisan, sorry Nintendo.
We also get FALLOUT NEW VEGAS. I loved Fallout 3, and man, moving it to a place I've actually been can only make me love it more. Plus, robots with TVs in their stomach are pretty sweet but I don't even have a HDTV yet, let alone a robot TV.
Dead Rising 2 is coming out too. More Vegas shit but they say it's not Vegas but it's totally Vegas you guys. The trailers make it appear that you can Macguyver weapons together but it's probably just scripted events and cinemas. Mulitplayer looks like American Gladiators with zombies, which just feels so, so right.
There's that game with the cars that you blow up shit. Uh...Split Second? That's a fucking shitty game for a racing game. They should just call it THAT GAME WITH CARS WHERE YOU BLOW UP SHIT. I'm not a huge fan of racing games, but I love mayhem, and this seems to have lots of it. I love the Burnout series, but unless I'm recreating the opening scene of Final Destination 2, I'm not really interested.
I'm sure there's some huge title I'm forgetting that I don't give a shit about that everyone will talk shit about me not mentioning here, so fuck you. THESE ARE THE GAMES I CARE ABOUT.
Fucking check this shit out-
We get RED DEAD REDEMPTION. It looks amazing- pretty much what I just hope it has the fucking badass Spaghetti Western soundtrack the first game had, because it really enhanced the experience.
We get UFC 2010. Though KBN homey Biff told me that the PS3 version gets Dan Severn, Royce Gracie, and Jens Pulver and the 360 doesn't and that makes me sad. Dan Severn's majestic mustache must be experienced by all. Fuck bipartisan gaming. Notice I didn't say tripartisan, sorry Nintendo.
We also get FALLOUT NEW VEGAS. I loved Fallout 3, and man, moving it to a place I've actually been can only make me love it more. Plus, robots with TVs in their stomach are pretty sweet but I don't even have a HDTV yet, let alone a robot TV.
Dead Rising 2 is coming out too. More Vegas shit but they say it's not Vegas but it's totally Vegas you guys. The trailers make it appear that you can Macguyver weapons together but it's probably just scripted events and cinemas. Mulitplayer looks like American Gladiators with zombies, which just feels so, so right.
There's that game with the cars that you blow up shit. Uh...Split Second? That's a fucking shitty game for a racing game. They should just call it THAT GAME WITH CARS WHERE YOU BLOW UP SHIT. I'm not a huge fan of racing games, but I love mayhem, and this seems to have lots of it. I love the Burnout series, but unless I'm recreating the opening scene of Final Destination 2, I'm not really interested.
I'm sure there's some huge title I'm forgetting that I don't give a shit about that everyone will talk shit about me not mentioning here, so fuck you. THESE ARE THE GAMES I CARE ABOUT.
Friday, March 26, 2010
TheDenizen talks violence of the Pink persuasion...
Hello again, ninja minions.
TheDenizen is back and about to tackle a subject that's near and dear to my heart: half-naked Japanese girls kicking ass.
The Japanese film industry was pretty austere and serious during the 50's and 60's with only a few exceptions (Seijun Suzuki's 1967 mindfuck Tokyo Drifter springs to mind)...the most popular films of the era were stately dramas and rousing action adventure films. But by the time the 70's rolled around, pretty much everyone in the country had a TV set at home and movie theater revenues were plummeting. In order to coax patrons back into the movie houses, filmmakers often took the tasty bits that couldn't be shown on TV and cranked them up to 11. Mainly, the sex and violence quota skyrocketed.
Masterfully written and acted samurai films gave way to gory and over the top swordplay flicks. As the market for exploitation fare soared, one subgenre of chambara and yakuza films carved out a niche for itself by telling the lurid stories of female gangsters: Pinky Violence. Packed with wall to wall swordfights, brawls, nudity and sex, these flicks certainly weren't innocent, but they usually lacked the meanness of a lot of contemporary American exploitation fare. They were just more fun.
Here's a quick look at a few of the series from the 1970's I enjoy the most.
Rica - Rica is a half Japanese, half American teenager who runs an all girl gang in modern day Yokohama. After a huge battle with a rival gang, Rica is carted off to juvenile hall and her gang is captured and sold to slavers who intend to ship them to Vietnam as rape fodder for American GIs. Rica busts out of detention and goes on the warpath, facing off against one tough male gang boss after another, trying to get back her girls. There is more plot in the first 20 minutes of this movie than most complete films, and it just moves at a breakneck pace the whole way. There's an extended scene where Rica sings in a strip club, and her dance moves are some of the worst stuff you've ever seen, but her outfits are amazing. In practically every scene, Rica is wearing a new cape or midriff-baring pantsuit with incredibly detailed and colorful patterns. Very kitschy. Tons of knife scraps, kung fu catfighting and bouncing boobs.
Rica was followed by two sequels. Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer is about Rica trying to unravel the story of one of the reform school girls from the first film, who has somehow ended up in a mental institution in Misawa. The plot was much more coherent and conventionally paced, but there was almost no nudity and too much use of guns. Rica 3: Junvenile Lullaby features Rica using a fucking spear gun to bust up a pornography ring that was exploiting girls from the Juvenile Prison. Much better.
Sex & Fury - Reiko Ike plays a fearless swordswoman, pickpocket and gambler named Ocho who is on the trail of her father's killers. She plays some poker and gets whipped naked by Swedish nymphette Christiana Lindberg along the way, and ends up slashing her way to the top of the yakuza syndicate responsible for her father's death. The first major set piece of the movie is a swordfight in a bath house, in which Reiko takes on a dozen or so men completely nude. She also fights the final battle topless, but by the end she is so soaked in gore that you can't even tell. Nice.
Sex & Fury had only one sequel, the ludicrously titled Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture, in which Ocho solves the equally ludicrously named "Crotch Gouge Murders" while doing battle with a bunch of opium smugglers. The story is kinda confusing and some of the sex scenes are just creepy, but there's lots of cool visuals and and swordplay.
Lady Snowblood - Meiko Kaji plays Yuki, a woman who was born in a prison to a widow who died in childbirth. She was then raised and trained as an instrument of vengeance, possessing deadly skills and a concealed sword. This is probably best known as the flick that Quentin Tarantino used as the basis for Kill Bill, even reusing Lady Snowblood's theme song. Meiko Kaji is beautiful, and has a fierce glare that could bore a hole through titanium. She uses that glare to stunning effect as she smoothly dispatches her enemies. Plenty of splashy blood, but this flick also asks some serious questions as Yuki continually ponders the point of avenging the family she never met.
Lady Snowblood was followed by Love Song of Vengeance a year later, a less interesting film in which Yuki gets mixed up a political scheme. It still has no shortage of swordplay, and fans of Meiko Kaji will want to check it out. Meiko Kaji was also famous for playing Sasori (aka Scorpion) in the Female Prisoner 701 series, a woman who breaks out of prison to exact revenge on the men who wrongfully put here there. Maybe for my next blog I'll review those, or some other Women In Prison flicks.
Other notable Pinky Violence films from the era include Stray Cat Rock, Girl Boss Guerilla, Girl Boss Revenge, and Terrifying Girls' High School.
The Pinky Violence genre still exists today in a slightly altered form, way down on the low budget end of the filmmaking spectrum in Japan. Recent efforts use less sex but WAY more bloody gore, often for comedic effect. Movies like Machine Girl, Zombie Hunter Rika, Oneechanbara, Samurai Princess and Tokyo Gore Police all show off sexy female leads unleashing copious amounts of ultraviolence.
I love that shit, it never goes out of style...
TheDenizen is back and about to tackle a subject that's near and dear to my heart: half-naked Japanese girls kicking ass.
The Japanese film industry was pretty austere and serious during the 50's and 60's with only a few exceptions (Seijun Suzuki's 1967 mindfuck Tokyo Drifter springs to mind)...the most popular films of the era were stately dramas and rousing action adventure films. But by the time the 70's rolled around, pretty much everyone in the country had a TV set at home and movie theater revenues were plummeting. In order to coax patrons back into the movie houses, filmmakers often took the tasty bits that couldn't be shown on TV and cranked them up to 11. Mainly, the sex and violence quota skyrocketed.
Masterfully written and acted samurai films gave way to gory and over the top swordplay flicks. As the market for exploitation fare soared, one subgenre of chambara and yakuza films carved out a niche for itself by telling the lurid stories of female gangsters: Pinky Violence. Packed with wall to wall swordfights, brawls, nudity and sex, these flicks certainly weren't innocent, but they usually lacked the meanness of a lot of contemporary American exploitation fare. They were just more fun.
Here's a quick look at a few of the series from the 1970's I enjoy the most.
Rica - Rica is a half Japanese, half American teenager who runs an all girl gang in modern day Yokohama. After a huge battle with a rival gang, Rica is carted off to juvenile hall and her gang is captured and sold to slavers who intend to ship them to Vietnam as rape fodder for American GIs. Rica busts out of detention and goes on the warpath, facing off against one tough male gang boss after another, trying to get back her girls. There is more plot in the first 20 minutes of this movie than most complete films, and it just moves at a breakneck pace the whole way. There's an extended scene where Rica sings in a strip club, and her dance moves are some of the worst stuff you've ever seen, but her outfits are amazing. In practically every scene, Rica is wearing a new cape or midriff-baring pantsuit with incredibly detailed and colorful patterns. Very kitschy. Tons of knife scraps, kung fu catfighting and bouncing boobs.
Rica was followed by two sequels. Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer is about Rica trying to unravel the story of one of the reform school girls from the first film, who has somehow ended up in a mental institution in Misawa. The plot was much more coherent and conventionally paced, but there was almost no nudity and too much use of guns. Rica 3: Junvenile Lullaby features Rica using a fucking spear gun to bust up a pornography ring that was exploiting girls from the Juvenile Prison. Much better.
Sex & Fury - Reiko Ike plays a fearless swordswoman, pickpocket and gambler named Ocho who is on the trail of her father's killers. She plays some poker and gets whipped naked by Swedish nymphette Christiana Lindberg along the way, and ends up slashing her way to the top of the yakuza syndicate responsible for her father's death. The first major set piece of the movie is a swordfight in a bath house, in which Reiko takes on a dozen or so men completely nude. She also fights the final battle topless, but by the end she is so soaked in gore that you can't even tell. Nice.
Sex & Fury had only one sequel, the ludicrously titled Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture, in which Ocho solves the equally ludicrously named "Crotch Gouge Murders" while doing battle with a bunch of opium smugglers. The story is kinda confusing and some of the sex scenes are just creepy, but there's lots of cool visuals and and swordplay.
Lady Snowblood - Meiko Kaji plays Yuki, a woman who was born in a prison to a widow who died in childbirth. She was then raised and trained as an instrument of vengeance, possessing deadly skills and a concealed sword. This is probably best known as the flick that Quentin Tarantino used as the basis for Kill Bill, even reusing Lady Snowblood's theme song. Meiko Kaji is beautiful, and has a fierce glare that could bore a hole through titanium. She uses that glare to stunning effect as she smoothly dispatches her enemies. Plenty of splashy blood, but this flick also asks some serious questions as Yuki continually ponders the point of avenging the family she never met.
Lady Snowblood was followed by Love Song of Vengeance a year later, a less interesting film in which Yuki gets mixed up a political scheme. It still has no shortage of swordplay, and fans of Meiko Kaji will want to check it out. Meiko Kaji was also famous for playing Sasori (aka Scorpion) in the Female Prisoner 701 series, a woman who breaks out of prison to exact revenge on the men who wrongfully put here there. Maybe for my next blog I'll review those, or some other Women In Prison flicks.
Other notable Pinky Violence films from the era include Stray Cat Rock, Girl Boss Guerilla, Girl Boss Revenge, and Terrifying Girls' High School.
The Pinky Violence genre still exists today in a slightly altered form, way down on the low budget end of the filmmaking spectrum in Japan. Recent efforts use less sex but WAY more bloody gore, often for comedic effect. Movies like Machine Girl, Zombie Hunter Rika, Oneechanbara, Samurai Princess and Tokyo Gore Police all show off sexy female leads unleashing copious amounts of ultraviolence.
I love that shit, it never goes out of style...
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